Mocha Regular
by yoakeyiguri
Summary: Working at a coffee shop isn't exactly every boy's dream, but if there's one thing that Toris is proud of, it's that he really does know how to take care of his regulars. Especially the ones that he likes. Especially especially a certain blond with a goofy smile and an unusual story to tell. (For Rare-Pair Christmas Exchange)


To: Sara ( )

Pairing: America/Lithuania (main), mentions of past one-sided America/Canada

Rating: M (language, mentions of sexual situations, mentions of incest)

Prompts Used: Coffee, Christmas tree, waking up, sunlight

Description: Working at a coffee shop isn't exactly every boy's dream, but if there's one thing that Toris is proud of, it's that he really does know how to take care of his regulars. Especially the ones that he likes. _Especially _especially a certain blond with a goofy smile and an unusual story to tell.

Notes: America/Canada is obviously a mainstream pairing, but no action between the two happens, as the events took place in the past and it was one-sided to begin with. Bending the rules, I hope, rather than breaking them :0

Happy Holidays!

Mocha frappe made with Italian roast coffee grinds and real, melted dark chocolate, topped off with hand-whipped cream and drizzled with more of that chocolate. Oh yes. Toris knew what his regulars liked. Especially _him. _Toris didn't actually know _his_ name, but what he knew what _he _liked. The first time they met, _he_ was in a hurry, late for a college lecture, presumably, and _he_ just wanted plain hot coffee, mixed with sugar and Irish cream. When Toris jokingly asked if _he_ would like some coffee with that creamer, _he _practically fell over laughing. Tears in his eyes, _he_ eventually managed to drag himself off the counter and shakingly pay for his drink, before sprinting off to whatever he was late to. The other customers seemed both amused and perturbed at the boy's frantic actions - some were scowling, and others were stifling giggles.

The next time Toris saw _him, he_ was in much less of a hurry. _He_ sauntered up to the counter, bright sky-colored eyes shining behind his glasses. Toris tried not to stammer as _he_ talked.

"So, I usually don't really go to coffee shops, ya know? I make my own, and it's like whatever. Gets me through Professor Beilschmidt. But holy shit, you guys must put drugs or something in that shit yesterday, because that was the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life."

Toris glanced around at Feliciano, who was busy semi-flirting with a pretty female customer. There was no help coming from that particular Italian. Toris turned back to _him_, nervously scratching his head.

"Thanks...? Err, would you like to, uh, order anything?"

_He_ nodded, a grin spreading across _his _face. "Dude, did you think I came in here to tell you how awesome this place was and then not get anything? No way bro! Give me the most chocolatiest, sugariest thing you got!" 

Thus began the tradition of the whipped-cream frappe mocha. _He_ came almost every day, and when he didn't, he arrived early the next day to compensate. Eventually, _he_ began to call Toris by his name, and for a while, the Lithuanian fretted over how _he_ hand found out. Had _he_ asked around? Was _he_ curious about Toris as well? It wasn't until about a week after the name-calling did Toris remember that a shiny nametag was pinned to his apron every day. The poor brunet could hardly look _him_ in the eye for a while after that embarrassment.

Sometimes Toris wished he had a photo of _him_, one that Toris could look at when he went home to his tiny apartment. Something to put on the nightstand, maybe, or if Toris was daring, something to put under his pillow. Of course, since Toris didn't even know _his_ name, the entire concept seemed rather… stalkerish, as to obtain a picture, Toris would either have to ask for one from _his_ family or friends, or take one himself when _he _wasn't looking. No, those kinds of thoughts were best left to the deepest corners of his mind.

The day of October 12th started out as a normal one. Feliciano still wanted to put up _more _Halloween decorations, even though the place was practically stuffed with orange and black tinsel and witch silhouettes coated the walls. Some of the silhouettes were suspiciously more… sexy than others. Toris wasn't sure where or why Feli would buy such things, but he didn't worry about it too much. Seeing as most of the customers were college students, indubitably most of them didn't mind.

The bell rang as another customer entered the building. "Welcome!" called Toris, not looking up from where he was writing a note to himself on his hand. It wasn't until the customer was standing right in front of Toris did he look up. It was _him_ again, though, today, something seemed a little… different. The usually jovial smile seemed a little cockier, confident. Like _he_ knew something Toris didn't.

"Eggs, cinnamon, pumpkin (for pie), pie crust…" _He_ read off of Toris's hand. "You planning to do some baking, buddy?"

Toris quickly straightened up, blushing heavily as he hid his hand behind his back. "Um, y-yeah. Something like that. Can I –"

"Pie for the girl's family?" _He _cut off, laughing when Toris gaped at him. "Gotta keep those in-laws happy, am I right?"

"Err, uh, I – well, I mean, there's no – I mean – I, I'm not. Dating! Anyone. I'm not going out. With anyone." There was an awkward pause as Toris temporarily forgot who he was, why he was here and what he was doing with his life as he just basked in the incredible awkwardness of the situation. Realizing that they were just standing there, Toris quickly asked, "What can I get you? The usual?"

_He_ blinked, grinning suddenly. "Yeah, and something else. I've been told I'm missing out on the best part of this place! I'd like a slice of that famous Lithuanian coffee bread."

Toris nodded quickly, shuffling over to make _his_ order. It was true – though the coffee was exquisite, the bread was definitely the best part of the shop. Not that Toris wanted to brag or anything – he had just… tweaked the original recipe. A lot.

After making _his_ coffee, Toris opened the sliding glass case in front of the counter and pulled out a piece of bread. The overwhelming desire to stuff it in his mouth hit him for a moment, but he quickly overcame it and handed it to _him._ Every time that Toris smelled the bread, he thought immediately of home – he had learned the recipe from his mother a long time ago, and baked it ever since.

"Here you go, that'll be… $5.13." Toris intoned, handing _him his_ food. _He_ passed over exact change, and after receiving his receipt, turned to leave, not sitting down at the tables. Toris watched him go before snapping out of it and turning to the cash register. As he began to place put the money in, a small piece of paper fluttered out from between the coins. Toris glanced around, immediately growing nervous. Was this a note to him?

With shaking hands, Toris opened the note. In hasty, scrawling handwriting that could only belong to _him, _a phone number was written, along with a name.

Alfred.

Toris wasn't sure what kind of name he'd expected _him_ to have, but it certainly wasn't Alfred. The name brought up images of good old-fashioned English gentlemen, not perky young blonds with bright blue eyes and a caffeine addiction. Alfred.

Toris could get used to it.

"You seem very excited."

Was the first thing that Toris heard when he walked through the door to his apartment. Eduard was sitting on the couch, half-reading the newspaper. He looked up at his roommate, a tired smile on his face. "Going somewhere tonight?"

Toris shook his head, reaching up and taking his long brown hair out of its ponytail. "No, I just… had a good day, I guess." Eduard made a soft 'hmm' noise, returning to his newspaper. Toris frowned at his friend. He was obviously exhausted from his programming work – it was no secret that Eduard was the one who kept the trio afloat. While it was true that Toris was paid more than he would've been if he had worked at a chain, he wasn't exactly a millionaire.

"Ravis made tea, it's in the kitchen if you want some," Eduard called out as Toris left to go to his bedroom. Toris gave an affirmative grunt, but he didn't want tea right now.

Locking his bedroom door behind him, Toris let out a sharp exhale before collapsing on the bed and pulling out his phone. Screwing up his courage, the brunet pulled out his cellphone and Alfred's note and began to dial the number. His heart thudded in his chest as he listened to the ringing tone. It suddenly occurred to him that this might be one huge mistake. Maybe Alfred had stuck the note in his pocket where his money was, and he hadn't meant to give it to Toris at all. Maybe the note was from someone else, and Alfred wasn't Alfred at all, but was some guy that someone was crushing on. Maybe –

"Hello?" Came the muffled voice from the other end of the line.

"Err, uh, hi!" Toris practically squeaked. Usually he wasn't this nervous, but the whole deal had put him on edge. "Hey, it's, uh –"

"Mattie?" The other voice asked. It was clearly Alfred speaking, and Toris felt his heart sink. So he had meant to give the note to someone else. A girl, at that. Maddie.

"Ah… no. It's Toris. From Café Bei Tempi? Um, sorry about this, I… You left a note, you probably meant to give it to someone else." Well, shit. There went one of the best customers. Toris could almost see Feli's sad face.

"Toris!" Alfred yelled, nearly blowing out the speakers on Toris's phone. "Holy shit! Dude! I didn't think you'd call! How late do you get off work?!" The Lithuanian glanced at the clock. 8:13. "Man, it doesn't matter! Dude, how've you been?"

"Fine?" Toris answered. It had only been a couple of hours since Alfred had last seen him.

"Ah, dude, that's great. Hey! You don't work on Sundays, right?"

"No…"

"Sweet! Do you want to see a movie?"

Toris let out a slow exhale, forgetting that it would sound like a rush of static to Alfred. "_Wow."_ He thought, slowly rubbing his eyes. _"This is actually surreal."_ The entire concept was… strange. Alfred was actually asking him out on a date. An honest-to-god date. "Yeah. Yeah. That'd…. That'd be great."

"AWESOME!" Alfred yelled. Toris nearly chucked the phone away from surprise, but he managed to keep it in his hand – albeit, he made sure not to hold it within a foot of his ear. "Oh my god, I was so worried that you were going to be like 'Ugh, I'm not fucking gay you freak' – I mean, not that I think of you like that, but you never know – but this is awesome! Dude, see you there at, I dunno, seven!"

"Wait, which theater?" Toris quickly asked, grabbing a pen and paper.

"Uh… the really big one! In uptown! Okay, see you then! Bye!" The line clicked off, leaving a slow hum in Toris's ears.

"He really is hyperactive…" Toris murmured, ending the call. He had a pretty good idea which theater Alfred was talking about, despite the unclear instructions. Glancing again at the clock, Toris realized that Sunday was tomorrow. Since Alfred probably meant the seven that didn't involve dragging himself out of bed – he didn't seem like an early riser at all – they were probably going to be out pretty late, since it was likely Alfred would want to get dinner after whatever they watched. After throwing together a quick meal, Toris said goodnight to his roommates and headed off to bed.

Toris wasn't one to nitpick, but it seemed that most romantic snuggle situations didn't involve hysterical sobbing and whimpering.

The Lithuanian sighed, running his hands through Alfred's hair as the American shivered in his arms. It was lucky that Alfred's apartment was so close to the cinema, because Toris didn't think they would've made it to his.

"You feeling any better?" Toris asked. Alfred tried to say "yes", but his voice cracked halfway through. Feeling awkward, Toris leaned down and kissed Alfred on the forehead. They weren't really dating – after all, they had just finished their first date a couple of minutes ago – but Toris felt that Alfred didn't mind the affection.

Toris had been wasn't terribly surprised when Alfred had said he hand wanted to see _Screaming Blood 5_, what with Halloween coming up, but what _had_ surprised him was Alfred clutching on his armrest and whimpering within the first five minutes of the movie. And when the first head was lopped off, Alfred let out an amazing scream that was more or less continuous for the entire movie. Some people had even left the theater out of annoyance, but others, prompted by Alfred's fear, began to scream too. By the end, Toris had a headache and his ears were ringing.

Toris leaned back onto the couch, taking the opportunity to look around the house. Alfred's apartment wasn't much bigger than his – not surprising, since most college students weren't exactly rolling in piles of money – but the furniture seemed a bit nicer. Toris was tempted to ask if Alfred had any roommates, especially since he was really hoping no one walked in right now. A crying Alfred lying in a stranger's arms wasn't exactly an ideal picture to come home to.

"Hey, Alfred," Toris ventured uncertainly. When the blond looked up, he couldn't bring himself to ask. "Do you… uh, do you want some food? It'll probably help you feel better…"

There was a pause, but Alfred nodded, sitting up. Toris let out an exhale as the weight was lifted off of him. Alfred was heavier than he looked. "Okay, err… any special requests?"

"Pancakes." Alfred said immediately, then blushed. Toris gave him an odd look before starting to laugh.

"Kind of an odd request for dinner, but sure, that's easy enough." The Lithuanian stood up, walking to the kitchen. Alfred trailed behind him, an odd look on his face. "So… just curious. Why pancakes?" Toris asked, opening the fridge and getting out some eggs. Alfred made a soft noise in the back of his throat, wiping away some of the tears that had fallen on his face.

"Dunno… comfort food. My sibling, Mattie, used to make them for me when I was feeling down or scared…" Alfred looked distant.

"Oh! Maddie is your sister. I was wondering who that was…"

Alfred looked confused before realizing what Toris meant. Bursting into laughter, the blond doubled over. "Oh, man! Mattie – _Matthew_ – is my brother! Twin brother, actually. Man, that's pretty funny. Ah, I should tell him about this sometime. He's a great guy, you know. You would like him."

Toris wondered if Matthew was anything like Alfred – if he was, Toris didn't think he could handle two Alfreds. One was plenty for him.

They spent a few minutes in silence as Toris cooked the pancakes. Eventually, the Lithuanian finished, and he turned the stovetop off and piled the golden-brown cakes onto an awaiting plate.

"You got any syrup?" He asked, handing the plate to Alfred.

"Oh, man, plenty. Check the furthest right cupboard." Alfred sat down before remembering that he needed a fork and standing up again. "Mattie makes sure I'm well stocked. He moved to Canada, you know – he's wanted to go there all his life. Dunno why, America is the shit. He sends maple syrup every month, at least five bottles per package."

"Wow." Toris said. He had opened the cupboard, and, sure enough, three gleaming bottles of pure amber liquid sat in wait. Grabbing the opened one, Toris handed it to Alfred, who had sat down after getting his fork. The blond immediately popped open the cap and proceeded to drown the pancake with the sweet syrup. Toris watched, fascinated. He liked maple syrup, sure, but if he was forced to eat that much he would probably puke.

Alfred took his first bite, slowly chewing as he contemplated the flavor. "Pretty good," he decreed, before proceeding to tear into the food with such ferocity that Toris expected him to start snarling like a wild animal.

The Lithuanian watched Alfred carefully, nibbling his lip as he thought about the situation at hand. _"Pretty good,"_ it dawned on him, _"But not as good as Matthew's."_

About a month had passed since Alfred and Toris had started dating, and relatively confident in calling Alfred his "boyfriend". At first, Toris wasn't sure he could handle the constant stream of _happy_, but as time wore on, it got less annoying and more… endearing. If you just accepted the fact that Alfred wasn't bogged down by much at all, his good mood actually began to wear off on you, Toris decided. While Eduard wasn't the biggest fan of Toris's newest boyfriend, Ravis loved it when Alfred stopped by, as the blond would often play with the childlike high-schooler. Seeing how his little brother liked Alfred, eventually Eduard opened up to him and they found they shared an affinity for computer games, and sometimes Toris would have to drag them both away from _Portal _or _World of Warcraft _so they could all eat dinner.

Since Toris had moved after he had finished high school, he was planning on just giving his mother and father a call. Last year, he had flown over (so expensive), and by the time he got there, jet lag had left him in such an awful mood that he had purposely knocked over the turkey because his mother was irritating him. That… was not a memory Toris enjoyed remembering.

That was until Alfred offered to bring Toris along with him to his family Thanksgiving dinner. The brunet had gladly accepted, but was worried that Eduard and Ravis would be lonely. When he asked them, however, they assured him it would be fine, and that they could use some 'brotherly bonding time'. Alfred frowned at the phrasing, but otherwise didn't seem terribly upset over not bringing them. After all, it was the boyfriend his family wanted to meet.

Alfred drove Toris to his parent's house a few states over, which took more than a few hours, but Toris wasn't terribly miffed at the long drive time. Alfred soon grew bored and proceeded to sing every camp song he knew, several times if needed. After the third round of "Found a Peanut", Toris politely but firmly asked if Alfred would prefer to turn on the radio. When Alfred said "no", Toris asked again, though the second time around it wasn't really a question. Alfred turned on the radio.

As soon as they entered the city limits, Alfred began drilling the Lithuanian on various family members, which only served to make the poor brunet even more nervous. Straightening his tie, Toris began to try and fix himself up as much as possible while still in the car, even going so far as to alternate between hair tied up and let loose.

"… Don't let Arthur trap you, man, he'll talk your ears off about fairies and gentlemanliness or whatever. If he does, just go 'Mmhm, oh yeah, wow,' for a while, then when he pauses for breath, go offer to get him a cup of tea or whatever. Also, if Francis gropes you, don't freak out, it's his way of saying hi – oh, we're here!"

Alfred had stopped in front a Victorian-style house, with flowers growing all around. Various cars were parked in the street and driveway. Lots of them, Toris noted with some interest, were European. As the blond began to get out of the car, Toris decided to compromise with a loose ponytail and stepped out of the car. No one was entering the house but them, Toris realized. With some concern, he asked, "Alfred, are we… late?"

The blond nodded, tapping his wrist thoughtfully. "Yeah, by about… forty-five minutes?"

"Forty-" Toris cut himself off, taking a deep breath. Noticing Toris's concern, Alfred began to laugh.

"Dude, chillax. I'm always late. They'll be expecting me about now. Plus, dinner's not for, like, twenty minutes. We're cool."

Toris took a deep, shuddering breath, fiddling with his ponytail one last time before Alfred rang the doorbell. Toris could've sworn he heard someone mutter "Finally" before the door opened. In the doorway was a man with the most beautiful hair that Toris had ever seen. It flowed and curled down his shoulders like a magnificent golden waterfall, and the Lithuanian could not take his eyes off of the cascading locks.

"Hey Francy-Pants." Alfred greeted jovially, before being pulled into a tight hug.

"Mon cher, it is so good to see you again! And I see you've brought your newest boyfriend with you, onhonhon~ I will have a little chat with him later, oui?" The man, Francis, Toris presumed according to Alfred's description of him in the car, peeked over the blond's shoulder and winked at Toris, causing the Lithuanian to blink rapidly and gape.

"Hey, hands off, man! Toris is mine!" Alfred warned. The brunet wasn't sure how to feel about that sentence, so he decided to ignore it for now. Francis let go of Alfred before beckoning the couple inside.

"Come in, come in! The rest are waiting for you~!"

Toris walked in cautiously behind his boyfriend. He had assumed that Alfred was exaggerating in the car, but now he wasn't so sure. If he had been within the distance, Toris wouldn't have been surprised if Francis had reached around the back and touched _down there. _

"Bloody hell boy, you took forever getting here!" A very British voice called out. Immediately the room exploded into chatter, welcoming Alfred and asking about Toris. The Lithuanian in question hung behind, warily eyeing the crowd. The individuals certainly did seem rather… colorful.

"Toris, was it?" Murmured a voice that was _much_ too close. Toris jumped, whirling on the source. Francis was standing behind him, two glasses of wine in his hands. He offered Toris one, smiling when the Lithuanian took it. "You look like a very nice boy, Toris. I'm sure the family will love you~!"

Toris smiled uncertainly, taking a sip of his wine. It was exquisite – Toris wasn't one to drink often, but it was obvious this family only accepted the best.

"I really do hope Alfred keeps you," Francis commented, his blue eyes flashing. "You are a good fit for him, I can already tell."

"What do you mean? Err, about him 'keeping me'?" Toris asked, worry evident in his voice. Those words didn't seem like a good omen.

"Oh, mon cher! Didn't you know? Alfred has gone through boyfriends so many times, it's like he's trying on different pairs of shoes! They last about a week to a month – tell me, how long have you two been dating?"

Toris was startled. He was silent for a moment, nibbling his lip in contemplation, before narrowing his eyes and glaring and the Frenchman.

"Listen – if Alfred breaks up with someone, that's is choice. If you're implying that he's some kind of… of _whore,_ then you are dead wrong. Just because he's dated a lot of people… I mean, that's his choice! It doesn't mean I love him any less, whether he's had one boyfriend or one hundred. If Alfred were to break up with me tomorrow and start dating a stripper, that – I mean, I wouldn't really be _fine_ with it, but… If he just wants sex out of a relationship, whatever! That's his lifestyle. It's not, but it would be fine if it were."

Francis threwup his hands as best as he could with the wineglass still in his hands. "Whoa, whoa! Mon cher, you are too defensive! I am just trying to warn you of what could come. I'm not implying anything." Lowering his hands, a mischievous grin spread across his face. "So, which one of you tops?"

Before Toris could answer, the Englishman from before stepped in. "Okay, frog, that's quite enough. Leave the boy alone." The man threw Toris an apologetic look before dragging Francis away by those long, luscious locks.

It hit Toris then how rude he had been – blushing, he quickly walked over to Alfred. The blond had escaped the crowd and was taking a break, slowly sipping a glass of champagne.

"Oh Alfred, I'm so sorry, I was so rude to Francis," Toris sighed, shaking his head. "I really should apologize – err, after the British guy is done strangling him. Jeez, your family really is weird. I thought you were exaggerating in the car."

Alfred looked up from his champagne, an odd expression on my face. "I'm very sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "but I'm not Alfred…"

Toris was about to ask what he meant when it clicked. "Oh… oh my god, you're Matthew! I… I am so sorry." Now that he was looking closer, Toris could see the differences. Matthew's hair was longer and a bit wavier, and his eyes were closer to purple then Alfred's sky blue.

"It's okay – we're twins. Everyone's bound to mix us up eventually, eh." Matthew murmured, his voice as soft as his smile. Despite the kind words, Toris could see the sadness in his eyes. He was obviously very used to people calling him Alfred.

"I promise I won't do it again," Toris interjected, returning the soft smile. "I know you don't believe me, but it's true, I won't. You are… very, very different from your brother."

A real smile spread across Matthew's face at that, and he nodded. "Thank you…?"

"Toris." The Lithuanian replied swiftly. "Please, call me Toris."

"Well, thank you, Toris."

There was a long silence as the two watched the crowd. Most of the people were still crowded around Alfred. They could hear his boisterous laugh from the other side of the room.

"He talks about you a lot, you know." Toris said suddenly. It was true. It seemed every other conversation that he and Alfred had was on the subject of Alfred's 'baby brother'. "He- he's really fond of you, I can tell. You're pretty lucky to have a brother that cares so much."

Matthew was quiet, looking down at his champagne glass. The golden liquid bubbled softly. "Next time you see him, tell him – tell him to let go. From me. Would you do that?"

"Sure…" Toris ventured uncertainly. "Um, no offense, but he's in the room… You could, you know… tell him yourself."

Matthew laughed, a lighthearted tinkling sound. The Canadian took a slow sip of his drink before saying, "Oh, I think it'll carry the most impact coming from you."

Alfred was busy taking off his socks when Toris came in. Sitting down, the Lithuanian placed a hand on the American's shoulder and murmured "We need to talk."

The look Alfred gave Toris would've been funny if the situation wasn't so… unfunny. The only thing that could make Alfred come close to that look of unbridled terror was one of his silly slasher movies that Toris found as terrifying as pigeons sitting on the bus stop bench that you were planning to rest your weary legs on.

"About – about what?" Alfred asked, looking around the hotel room as if planning an escape route.

"About Matthew."

The American laughed, a hint of hysteria entering his voice. "Matthew? What about him?" Determined to look casual, he continued taking off his socks and threw them across the room when they were off. Toris didn't even glance as the fabric sailed through the window.

"He told me to tell you to, uh, let go." Alfred was quiet at this, beginning to undo his tie. "Alfred… what the hell is going on between you and Matthew? You talk about him all the time, and then… he tells me that you need to let go. Of what? Him? I mean… I don't want to interfere with family business, but…"

"Toris, it's fine. You… you need to know. You deserve it…" Alfred finally managed to look up at his boyfriend. Toris realized with a start that there were tears in his eyes. "If you want to break up after I tell you this, I… I'll understand. What I did was wrong, there's no getting around it."

"Alfred…" Toris murmured, not sure how to respond. "Please, just… tell me."

"I… Oh god, Toris, I…" Alfred dropped his head into his hands, his shoulders shaking. "For… for the longest time, I was in completely in love with my twin brother."

"This… this is going to sound like the most horrible thing ever, but… Christ, that's why I started dating you, Toris. You're so quiet and kind, just like him, and… I thought, maybe if I could find someone else, I wouldn't have to, you know… be in love with him anymore. I would love someone else. I kept… trying and trying to find someone… Sometimes, I was sure I'd done it, I'd found that someone. But then, after about a month or so… I'd just start thinking about Matthew again.

"I was actually starting to give up. No one was catching my eye – I would walk all over town, looking, searching for… someone. Anyone. Male, female, ugly, beautiful – I didn't care. Anyone to get my mind off of Matthew. And then… you. You were perfect, because while you acted just like him, you looked so different that I couldn't ever mistake the two. Every time I was rude, every time I cried, you just put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. And slowly… I stopped thinking about how you were like Matthew and started thinking about how you were different. You're kind, but much more firm. People think you're weak and that you're a pushover, but in truth, even when you're low, you still grit your teeth and carry on. Toris, you – you are braver and stronger then I could ever be." As tears began to roll down Alfred's face, Toris realized his eyes were beginning to mist over as well. "When life gives you lemons, you don't make just make lemonade, you make a full fruit punch made up of 'fuck you' and serve it to your friends who all tell you it's delicious and then ask what you made it from, and you reply with the truth, that it was made from the blood of your enemies." When Toris gave him a _look, _Alfred choke-laughed. "Sorry, metaphors were never my thing." The blond straightened up a bit, taking off his glasses and putting them on the nightstand.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is, if I… if I had a chance to… date my brother… I wouldn't take it. Because you're here. And… fuck, Toris, I… love you."

A lump caught in Toris's throat. Not once in the entire month-long relationship had either of them said that. It seemed silly, for so short a time together. Love was such an abstract thing, like a first memory or a forgotten smell. Putting a label on it was strangely… official. A disease finally recognized. A beast given a name.

"Matthew… knew all this?" Toris asked. The blond nodded, obviously relieved to get away from the subject of love.

"Yeah, I've… told him. A while ago. He wasn't angry or even disappointed… just… distant. I think maybe that's one of the reasons he moved to Canada."

There was a long silence after that. Alfred tapped his fingers nervously against his leg, glancing from Toris to the door.

"I guess you're not leaving, then?"

Toris looked up. Alfred was gazing hopefully at him, blue eyes wide. "You're not leaving? You could, you know. What I did… was very selfish. Being someone's plan B isn't, well, you know…"

"Alfred." Toris said, his voice firm. "Do you think I'm going to walk away from you after you say something like 'I love you'? Because, unless I misunderstood, I'm not your plan B anymore. I don't care about what you did in the past – I care about now. Okay?"

The American suddenly sprung forward, burying himself in Toris's arms. Alfred's shoulders shook with sobs, and Toris nuzzled his face in the crook of Alfred's neck. "Shh, shh… It's okay… don't be afraid anymore."

"Wake up, wake up wake up!" Alfred yelled, bouncing up and down on the bed. "There are so many presents under the tree, holy shit!"

Toris groaned, covering his face with a pillow. All he really wanted was some coffee – good coffee, not the instant crap that Alfred seemed to possess at his home. Working at a coffee shop had made him a bit of a snob for the stuff.

"C'mon Toris, you're so laaaammmmeeeeeee!" Alfred whined, grabbing the pillow and throwing it across the room. Toris sat up indignantly, rubbing his tired eyes. Glancing over at the clock, Toris spluttered when he saw the time.

"5:35? Really, Alfred? Most days I couldn't drag you out of bed this early if I had a crane! As it is, I'm impressed you can get out of bed! Do you want some painkillers or something?"

That shut Alfred up surprisingly quick. The blond blushed, rubbing his backside rather self-consciously. Last night had left both of them tired, Toris was nowhere near as sore as Alfred was sure to be.

Toris leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "Tell you what. Make me some coffee, and I'll get out of bed with you. Okay?"

Alfred sprinted out of the bedroom, not bothering to answer with words. Toris chuckled, leaning back into his pillow. Honestly.

After Toris had his (rather crappy, but what was one to do) coffee, he agreed to get up and out into the living room. Alfred had opened the blinds, and the city view was amazing. The darkened sky was speckled with the lights of open windows, and, if you were lucky, the occasional star.

"Presents!" Alfred yelled, launching himself under the small Christmas tree and grabbing the first one with his name on it. Toris felt oddly parental as he watched the blond rip open his gifts, gasping from joy at the gift cards and wrinkling his nose at the clothes. As Toris sipped his coffee, he wondered if he should stop to say hello to Eduard and Ravis. The Lithuanian had moved in with Alfred not too long ago, and he thought it polite to greet them for the holidays. Toris was quite glad that the blond hadn't turned out to have a roommate (apparently he did for a while, but they left due to some issue with the water bill) – Alfred tended to be very… loud during their nighttime activities.

By the time Alfred had finished with the presents, the sun had started to rise. Golden light filtered into the apartment, making everything look as though it had been touched by King Midas. Toris leaned forward, placing his empty mug on the table before him. Alfred was searching around for any presents that had his name on them that he might have missed. When he found none, he shrugged and handed the first box to Toris.

Toris's pile was much smaller than Alfred's – understandable, since the blond had a ridiculously huge friend group. He carefully took the wrapping paper off, so as to not leave tiny scraps everywhere. The first gift was from Feli – tiramisu cake, along with a note about how cute he and Alfred were together. Blushing, Toris set it aside.

The gifts were the usual fair – practical, for a practical man. Alfred handed the gift from him to Toris last. When the Lithuanian opened it, he was genuinely surprised.

"A tea set? Alfred, you said you hated tea!"

"I do," Alfred said sheepishly. "But it's not a gift for me, is it? I know you like tea, and… well, as corny as this sounds, if it's your tea, I'll drink it. And if it's not earl gray. That stuff is the blood of the devil."

Torus laughed at his boyfriends' silliness and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. The blond looked once more at the Christmas tree, then pouted.

"Where's my gift from you, Toris?"

The Lithuanian smiled, putting down his new china and pulling something out of his chest pocket. A tiny box, covered in felt. For a moment, Alfred stiffened and his eyes widened. Toris laughed at the silly expression. "Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring. I don't think either of us are ready for that kind of commitment just yet."

"Oh." Alfred sighed, relaxing and taking it from Toris. When he opened it, however, his eyes widened again, and he looked up at his boyfriend. "Christ, this must've cost a fortune!"

It was a bracelet, strung with tiny beads of amber. In the center lay a bigger bead – this one relatively flat, but inside a tiny moth was trapped, its wings forever frozen.

"Don't worry about it," Toris assured him, rubbing Alfred's hair. "Besides, that's not the only gift I have for you."

Alfred looked up at him, blue eyes sparkling in the golden sunlight. Toris took a deep breath, screwing up his courage. This was it. It was time to name the beast.

"I love you too, Alfred."


End file.
